60http://blog.shancarpublications.comSun, 27 May 2012 09:49:55 GMTSun, 27 May 2012 09:49:55 GMTen richards.michelle@verizon.netnohttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/12/20/slowing-down-when-the-holidays-speed-up.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards<p>In the Northern Hemisphere, this time of year means fewer daylight hours. In the Midwest where I live, gray skies clouded by falling and blowing snow can make even the days seem dark. Our natural impulse is to slow down, seek warmth, and sleep more.</p> <p>During the last weeks of our calendar year, however, slowing down rarely seems like an option. We’re given more time off to spend the holidays with family, yet we spin our wheels trying to make everything “perfect.” We can run ourselves ragged just when our bodies most need to step back ...</p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsreligious beliefscelebrating holidayspersonal beliefstheological beliefsParentingUnitarian Universalismhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/12/20/slowing-down-when-the-holidays-speed-up.aspx#Commentsd67c1f87-86a3-4486-b023-0302fab7117cTue, 21 Dec 2010 03:45:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/12/03/celebrating-the-winter-holidays.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards<p>Since our overtly materialistic culture not only emphasizes consumerism but also offers unrealistic expectations of ourselves and our families during the winter holidays through commercials, TV specials, and movies, many families can feel acute disappointment and anxiety. The holidays often intensify family pressures—and they can be even more difficult for Unitarian Universalist families if theological issues conflict with family traditions or needs.</p> <p>If you are facing some of these issues, it may help to take a step back and focus on positive aspects of the winter holidays for yourself and your family. This may mean recreating ...</p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsreligious beliefsparenting challenges; Unitarian Universalismtheological beliefsParentingUnitarian Universalismspiritual developmenthttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/12/03/celebrating-the-winter-holidays.aspx#Commentsd3179728-882b-4282-9185-8bc07057a036Sat, 04 Dec 2010 03:49:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/11/15/showing-gratitude.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards<p>Unitarian Universalist parents sometimes overlook one of the most important values in life, albeit unintentionally. This value is gratitude.</p> <p>Like compassion, gratitude cannot be taught simply through words and ideas. It needs to be communicated through actions and deeds. We often fail to teach our children the importance of gratitude because we neglect to show them how grateful we are ourselves.</p> <p>Some Unitarian Universalist parents, who do not believe in thanking a divine presence, avoid the practice of expressing thanks in graces, blessings or prayers. But we also often neglect to show how grateful ...</p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsethical developmentParentingUnitarian Universalismteaching valueshttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/11/15/showing-gratitude.aspx#Comments74e0671c-a5b3-4aee-957a-1515411b1e13Mon, 15 Nov 2010 19:23:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/11/01/justice-and-compassion.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards<p>One of the pressing questions often faced by Unitarian Universalist parents is: How do we teach our children, some of whom are growing up in relatively privileged homes, about the injustice of the world? How can we let them know that true justice goes beyond how bedtimes are determined and that compassion for others is at the heart of giving?</p> <p>First and foremost, raising children in an anti-bias, anti-oppression home—one that acknowledges the realities of racism, the oppression of poverty, the danger of homophobia, and the error of making assumptions about ability—starts with the language we use ...</p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsethical developmentcompassionParentingpersonal beliefsspiritual developmentteaching valueshttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/11/01/justice-and-compassion.aspx#Comments808de6b0-ef44-40ec-b0b4-57211aea2223Mon, 01 Nov 2010 17:04:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/10/15/tricky-choices.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards<p>In recent years, Halloween has come under attack from a diverse group of people, and for very different reasons. Some evangelical and fundamentalist Christians protest that Halloween celebrates Satan and all things evil. (See “<a href="http://www.uuworld.org/spirit/articles/2324.shtml"><font color="#000000">Halloween’s Ritual Roots</font></a>” for a better take on the holiday’s origins.) Meanwhile, a plethora of groups are expressing concerns that many Halloween costumes perpetuate negative stereotypes. As a result of all these controversies, many public schools and other institutions are refusing to hold Halloween parties, substituting them with what is known as “Fall Harvest” parties or ignoring the holiday all together. ...</p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardschildren; parenting; messages about sexuality; gender stereotypes; Unitarian UniversalismParentinggender non-conformityUnitarian Universalismteaching valuesgender stereotypesethical developmentcelebrating holidayshttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/10/15/tricky-choices.aspx#Commentsd9d8b001-2ce4-4d4b-b761-fd1bbe351420Fri, 15 Oct 2010 20:35:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/09/07/parenting-through-grief.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards<p>Death has touched our family again, for the fifth time in five years. You would think that we would be getting rather acclimated to the grieving process after having gone through so many losses in such a short time, but it is never easy.</p> <p>This time there doesn’t seem to be as much soul-searching by my teenage daughter to understand why bad things happen; not as there was when, at age ten, her best friend was killed in a tragic accident. Now, after the death of her beloved but aging grandmother, she suffers from an abundance ...</p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsreligious beliefstalking about deaththeological beliefsParentingfreethinkingpersonal beliefsarticulating theological beliefsparenting challenges; Unitarian Universalismhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/09/07/parenting-through-grief.aspx#Comments7f9d4d8f-52f5-46b9-9bc9-2b51afe3e046Tue, 07 Sep 2010 16:46:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/08/09/freethinking-hits-a-wall.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards<p>Despite our best intentions to raise freethinking children who understand there are many possibilities for religious truths, the reality is most of us live and function in a world which frowns upon nonconformity where religious ideas are concerned. Even as our country grows more and more religiously diverse each generation, distrust of atheism, agnosticism, and humanism remains the last bastion of intolerance because many people have the mistaken notion that nonbelievers have no sense of morality.</p> <p>Even Unitarian Universalist families who have a traditional belief in God or consider themselves to be theists may face confusion ...</p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle RichardsParentingtheological beliefsfreethinkinghttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/08/09/freethinking-hits-a-wall.aspx#Commentsb531731c-b05a-44d2-816f-7baafb8b1bd5Mon, 09 Aug 2010 17:34:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/08/19/i-wont-have-the-meatloaf-or-chicken-casserole.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards<p>Because so many of us Unitarian Universalist parents come from other religious traditions or were raised unchurched, it’s often much easier for us to definitively state what we do not believe than what we do believe. Even parents who were raised as Unitarian Universalists may struggle with this if their own parents neglected to pass on their beliefs and their faith in those terms.</p> <p>However, expressing our theological beliefs to our children by explaining what we don’t believe is a bit like ordering a meal off of a restaurant menu by telling the waiter what you don’t ...</p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardspersonal beliefsUnitarian Universalismarticulating theological beliefshttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/08/19/i-wont-have-the-meatloaf-or-chicken-casserole.aspx#Comments7c8b08ca-53ef-4db5-80b1-370ddef52526Mon, 26 Jul 2010 20:31:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/08/19/a-reluctant-camper-is-converted.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards <p style="text-align: center; margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: calibri; font-size: 14pt;">A Reluctant Camper</span></p> <p style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: calibri; font-size: 12pt;">For many years, I rejected anything to do with the camping experience. A semi-flooded tent during a teenage camping nightmare was enough to turn me off of the idea forever.</span></p> <p style="margin: 0in 0in 10pt;"><span style="line-height: 115%; font-family: calibri; font-size: 12pt;">However, my husband persisted and, eventually, I relented. It was becoming clear to me that I was cheating my kids out of the full nature experience with ...</span></p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsappreciating naturefamily campinghttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/08/19/a-reluctant-camper-is-converted.aspx#Commentsaa1709e1-a36c-434f-9a21-d1a1fe27c15eMon, 12 Jul 2010 17:00:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/07/02/countering-gender-stereotypes.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards<p>Sexuality is so much more than just sex. It’s also the roles, behaviors, and values that people associate with the characteristics of being either male or female. For this reason, sexuality can be considered a basic part of our physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual lives. It is evident in the clothes we choose to wear, the activities we choose to engage in, the ways we show affection to others, and the persons we are sexually drawn toward. It is the identity we internalize and the image which we project to the world.</p> <p>The most challenging aspect ...</p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsgender stereotypes; healthy sexuality; transgender; gender non-conformityhealthy sexualitygender non-conformityhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/07/02/countering-gender-stereotypes.aspx#Comments2ec7f6a0-4c7b-49c8-b183-e4c480df7cd7Fri, 02 Jul 2010 20:01:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/06/14/helping-children-develop-a-healthy-sexuality.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards<p>Messages about sexuality are everywhere in our culture, from the magazines lining the shelves at the check-out line at the grocery store to suggestive dances and lyrics in music videos. News reports casually mention the latest politician or celebrity to succumb to an extramarital affair (sometimes with particularly vivid detail), while television commercials promote prescription drugs for erectile dysfunction. Even cartoons for children often feature animated drawings of extremely well-endowed female characters flirting and cajoling the male heroes.</p> <p>Developing a healthy sexuality is a life-long process of forming attitudes about identity, intimacy, and relationships. It needs ...</p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsgender stereotypesParentinghealing sexualityhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/06/14/helping-children-develop-a-healthy-sexuality.aspx#Comments407fc9b9-a38f-498f-b2a8-e900116f3763Mon, 14 Jun 2010 19:57:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/04/19/the-great-mystery-talking-about-death.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">The absence of comforting certainties in Unitarian Universalism is a particular challenge for parents when it comes to talking to our children about death. Because so many of us aren’t sure ourselves about what happens after a person dies, we have a tendency to waffle when we try to answer our children’s questions.</span></p> <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">​</span><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">I remember all-too-well the feeling of overwhelming powerlessness that threatened to ...</span></p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardschildrentalking about deathParentingUnitarian Universalismhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/04/19/the-great-mystery-talking-about-death.aspx#Commentsc9e76254-dbbf-46e5-9522-e2d4f48602abMon, 19 Apr 2010 16:23:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/04/12/speaking-out.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">When we raise our children to be Unitarian Universalists, we raise them to challenge accepted “truths,” ask questions, and speak out about issues that we ourselves may choose not to face. Our faith isn’t only about affirming the inherent worth and dignity of all people; it’s also about standing up for justice and compassion. Since children and many youth have not yet developed the internal censoring mechanism that so many adults have, they are not afraid to stand up and ...</span></p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle RichardschildrenParentingUnitarian Universalismhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/04/12/speaking-out.aspx#Commentsf645b141-88f5-4b1f-a46c-c7218379da1fMon, 12 Apr 2010 16:20:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/04/05/its-not-easy-being-you-u-in-middle-school.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">It’s not easy for anyone to be themselves in the emotionally charged social pressure cooker that is middle school. But when you are raised as a Unitarian Universalist, middle school can be an even greater challenge.</span></p> <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">My daughter Shannon is an atheist. This is something that she has come to on her own and as a result of many factors, not the least of which was the tragic death of her best ...</span></p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle RichardsParentingMiddle SchoolUnitarian Universalismhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/04/05/its-not-easy-being-you-u-in-middle-school.aspx#Commentscd5e64da-feed-4167-bae1-2762c62dcbdfMon, 05 Apr 2010 16:17:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/03/29/what-do-we-do-about-holidays.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">Christmas and Easter are quintessential Christian holidays that most Unitarian Universalist families celebrate in their own fashion, and in a way that generally fits their theology. People who share a Jewish heritage may celebrate Hanukkah, Passover, Yom Kippur, and Rosh Hashanah. Muslims have high holy days, too—particularly Eid al-Fitr, which commemorates the end of Ramadan. Hindus have a festival of light they call Divali, and many Buddhists celebrate Buddha’s birthday or the day he is believed ...</span></p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardscelebrating holidayschildrenParentingUnitarian Universalismhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/03/29/what-do-we-do-about-holidays.aspx#Comments0e2d26e7-8047-4f22-bc76-2a656301d03dMon, 29 Mar 2010 14:12:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/03/22/spiritual-and-ethical-development-of-children.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">Children’s growth doesn’t usually happen neatly or smoothly. Instead, children go through what’s known as “growth spurts.” One day, your child’s favorite shirt is just too small to make it over his head. If, with great effort or force of will, you manage to get the shirt on, it’s too short and his belly is exposed. Yesterday, that shirt seemed to fit just fine; now it has to be relegated to the hand-me-down pile. For my son, these growth spurts ...</span></p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsethical developmentchildrenParentingUnitarian Universalismspiritual developmenthttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/03/22/spiritual-and-ethical-development-of-children.aspx#Commentsb2a2809f-73b6-40a1-9d88-1b4d43071714Mon, 22 Mar 2010 17:09:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/05/15/hell-on-the-playground.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">Ruth Gibson, a retired Unitarian Universalist minister, had her first theological confrontation at the age of five. As she tells it, her Catholic friend told her and her Jewish friend—in no uncertain terms—that they would burn in Hell, complete with vivid descriptions of what that would entail. Although her Jewish friend responded matter-of-factly, “I go to Temple and that’s every bit as good as church, my parents said so, so there,” Ruth was being raised unchurched and had no such ...</span></p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsuniversal salvationchildrenParentingUnitarian Universalismhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/05/15/hell-on-the-playground.aspx#Commentsa233820e-86a3-41e0-a8bc-3e5c78820b4eMon, 15 Mar 2010 18:08:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/03/08/is-unitarian-universalism-for-kids.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">A friend of mine told me recently that someone in her congregation said she wasn’t sure Unitarian Universalism was really for kids. This is a rather difficult idea for me to swallow since I am actively raising my children—a seven-year-old son and a fourteen-year-old daughter—as Unitarian Universalists.</span></p> <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">If we were merely a group of people who have rejected the faiths of their childhoods and fallen in with other ...</span></p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle RichardschildrenParentingUnitarian Universalismhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/03/08/is-unitarian-universalism-for-kids.aspx#Commentsbf3bf4dc-3b7f-46e7-8383-16973a7581e7Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:05:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/05/19/sharing-your-beliefs-is-not-indoctrination.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">Although most Unitarian Universalist parents encourage their children to question and think for themselves, they also strive to pass on important values in terms of ethics and morality. However, when it comes to sharing religious beliefs with children, many parents face a dilemma. They fear indoctrinating their children, something they consider inconsistent with the very core of what it means to be a Unitarian Universalist.</span></p> <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">The reality is that ...</span></p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsreligious beliefsParentingindoctrinationUnitarian Universalismarticulating theological beliefshttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/05/19/sharing-your-beliefs-is-not-indoctrination.aspx#Commentsdc4e0746-1b8a-4fa8-950a-d4cd0a453bc5Mon, 01 Mar 2010 16:03:00 GMThttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/05/19/the-unique-challenges-of-unitarian-universalist-parenting.aspx?ref=rssMichelle Richards <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">Unitarian Universalism offers a different parenting experience than many other religious traditions do—and not just because of our diverse theologies. Parents raising their children in our faith frequently face situations that other parents may never encounter.</span></p> <p style="line-height: normal; margin: 6.3pt 0in;"><span style="color: #000000; font-size: 10pt;">During the five years I served a congregation in the Midwest as director of religious education, and in my years since as an author and religious education consultant, I have visited many congregations to present workshops ...</span></p> <BR><BR>All blog entries copyright Michelle Richardsparenting challenges; Unitarian Universalismhttp://blog.shancarpublications.com/2010/05/19/the-unique-challenges-of-unitarian-universalist-parenting.aspx#Commentsf26d2cd1-6ac7-4d02-8de6-a1d18b75b3cdMon, 22 Feb 2010 19:56:00 GMT