Despite our best intentions to raise freethinking children who understand there are many possibilities for religious truths, the reality is most of us live and function in a world which frowns upon nonconformity where religious ideas are concerned. Even as our country grows more and more religiously diverse each generation, distrust of atheism, agnosticism, and humanism remains the last bastion of intolerance because many people have the mistaken notion that nonbelievers have no sense of morality.

Even Unitarian Universalist families who have a traditional belief in God or consider themselves to be theists may face confusion ...

Because so many of us Unitarian Universalist parents come from other religious traditions or were raised unchurched, it’s often much easier for us to definitively state what we do not believe than what we do believe. Even parents who were raised as Unitarian Universalists may struggle with this if their own parents neglected to pass on their beliefs and their faith in those terms.

However, expressing our theological beliefs to our children by explaining what we don’t believe is a bit like ordering a meal off of a restaurant menu by telling the waiter what you don’t ...

A Reluctant Camper

For many years, I rejected anything to do with the camping experience. A semi-flooded tent during a teenage camping nightmare was enough to turn me off of the idea forever.

However, my husband persisted and, eventually, I relented. It was becoming clear to me that I was cheating my kids out of the full nature experience with ...

Sexuality is so much more than just sex. It’s also the roles, behaviors, and values that people associate with the characteristics of being either male or female. For this reason, sexuality can be considered a basic part of our physical, emotional, intellectual, and spiritual lives. It is evident in the clothes we choose to wear, the activities we choose to engage in, the ways we show affection to others, and the persons we are sexually drawn toward. It is the identity we internalize and the image which we project to the world.

The most challenging aspect ...

Messages about sexuality are everywhere in our culture, from the magazines lining the shelves at the check-out line at the grocery store to suggestive dances and lyrics in music videos. News reports casually mention the latest politician or celebrity to succumb to an extramarital affair (sometimes with particularly vivid detail), while television commercials promote prescription drugs for erectile dysfunction. Even cartoons for children often feature animated drawings of extremely well-endowed female characters flirting and cajoling the male heroes.

Developing a healthy sexuality is a life-long process of forming attitudes about identity, intimacy, and relationships. It needs ...

The absence of comforting certainties in Unitarian Universalism is a particular challenge for parents when it comes to talking to our children about death. Because so many of us aren’t sure ourselves about what happens after a person dies, we have a tendency to waffle when we try to answer our children’s questions.

​I remember all-too-well the feeling of overwhelming powerlessness that threatened to ...

When we raise our children to be Unitarian Universalists, we raise them to challenge accepted “truths,” ask questions, and speak out about issues that we ourselves may choose not to face. Our faith isn’t only about affirming the inherent worth and dignity of all people; it’s also about standing up for justice and compassion. Since children and many youth have not yet developed the internal censoring mechanism that so many adults have, they are not afraid to stand up and ...

It’s not easy for anyone to be themselves in the emotionally charged social pressure cooker that is middle school. But when you are raised as a Unitarian Universalist, middle school can be an even greater challenge.

My daughter Shannon is an atheist. This is something that she has come to on her own and as a result of many factors, not the least of which was the tragic death of her best ...

Christmas and Easter are quintessential Christian holidays that most Unitarian Universalist families celebrate in their own fashion, and in a way that generally fits their theology. People who share a Jewish heritage may celebrate Hanukkah, Passover, Yom Kippur, and Rosh Hashanah. Muslims have high holy days, too—particularly Eid al-Fitr, which commemorates the end of Ramadan. Hindus have a festival of light they call Divali, and many Buddhists celebrate Buddha’s birthday or the day he is believed ...

Children’s growth doesn’t usually happen neatly or smoothly. Instead, children go through what’s known as “growth spurts.” One day, your child’s favorite shirt is just too small to make it over his head. If, with great effort or force of will, you manage to get the shirt on, it’s too short and his belly is exposed. Yesterday, that shirt seemed to fit just fine; now it has to be relegated to the hand-me-down pile. For my son, these growth spurts ...